CAPTMAYHEM!!!!!!!!!!!

Woah! CAPTMAYHEM is carrying the torch in the tradition of great Cap'n's such as Crunch, Stubing, Obvious, America, and Ron. With his steady hand upon the wheel of clinically idiotic decisions, CAPTMAYHEM steers the good ship Schlongbreath on a true course to the safe harbor of the last row of the 300's (on the end where the Sabres shoot once). What most average civilians may not know is that prior his promotion to CAPT, he was better known as LIEUTENIANTCOMMANDERPANDEMONIUM and previous to that, ENSIGNDISORDER. As you can see he has really moved up. This has everything to do with his uncanny ability to combine the innate discipline, structure, and order of military service with the "mayhem" of rooting for the Sabres, making shitty custom jerseys, and drinking airline size bottles peppermint schnapps behind the half finished casino on the opposite side of the parking ramp before the game with some party animals he met online. WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! FFFUCKKKHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!