Saturday, November 28, 2009

YEAHHHHH!!!!!!! uh, wait.

(For best results read while listening to Westside Connection's "Bow Down")

I received this email recently:

Howdy sir, love your site. I read about the WNY hockey expo coming to town this past weekend and clicked on a link to their site. There is a banner at the top with hilarity attached to it. I have attached that photo.


Now, I know the main focus of SJB is to knock on "customized" Sabres jerseys. However every once and a great while we run into such an inexplicable abomination it simply begs to to get pissed on. On that note, what the fuck is happening here? Is it one of the worst Photoshop jobs of all time or two of the dumbest assholes in the history of screaming and waving their arms in the air? (That's a long, boring list. I've seen it.) A few key factors point to the former. Firstly, there are obviously Ottawa Senators jerseys. If you hate the "SENS" as much as you should- you should notice that fairly quickly. One of the clues to those not in the loop is the dude on the right having a fucking SENATORS logo on his jersey. The dude on the left still has a semi visible logo however it's easy to be distracted by his super tight goatee and backwards hat combo that clearly says: "Yeah, I deliver pizzas. You got a fucking problem fag?". There's another clue pointing to a someone at Perry's having a basic knowledge of Photoshop and an advanced problem with drinking a hip flask of Old Crow in the shitter before work every day. It's the fact that there has never been a Senators jersey with blue in it. It's just not one of their God damn colors. Now, I've seen crooked up ass ghetto fuck up misprint jerseys at the dirt mall but no fan of not getting hit in the head with a half empty bottle of Steel Reserve would leave their mom's basement rockin' that bonk gear. Also, What is with the hastily thrown in Sabretooth cover up bullshit? Why not cover both logos? Why not cover the entire logo if you're gonna cover it at all? What a clusterfuck? The best question is why did this dogshit have to go down in the first place? Is there a shortage of drunk idiots in Buffalo wearing actual Sabres shit screaming and acting like total fuckfaces? Not last time I checked. I just don't get it. Someone over a Perry's needs to get fired. Actually, before that goes down I could really use a case of Nutty Buddies. Not to eat but to hand out to the homeless people that swarm me when I leave my house. You know, to change it up a little.