Friday, October 31, 2008

P. Mair(ish)

Is this dude's angle that his name is so close to Mair or that he is so inherently "Mairish" that he has to differentiate himself with a "P"? So gross. I'm running out of adjectives for these dump huffers. Hey, Pete! Paul! Patrick! Whatever the fuck your name is! Do everyone a huge favor- take a page out of Mr. Shyamalan's playbook and change your first name to "Night".

Thursday, October 30, 2008

2 Princes(s)

"Woe to you, my Princess, when I come... you shall see who is the stronger, a gentle little girl who doesn't eat enough or a big wild man who has cocaine in his body." - Sigmund Freud

Yes. that is an actual quote from Sigmund Freud. What does it have to do with anything at all you may ask? Not a God damn thing. But there are three things we can learn here.
1. This jersey sucks big dick.
2. If you're a 36 year old woman and you own ANYTHING with the word princess on it (including car window decals featuring a silhouette of Italy) you really need to stop that shit.
3. Sigmund Freud was a sick fuck. A sick fuck who loved blowing lines and either beating or raping anorexic princesses. Sick father of psychoanalysis bro.

Sick sick jersey sickness!

For those who don't think is a real phenomena check out this real ass sign at the Sabres opening win against the Montreal Canadiens. Now, I know what you're thinking- I got all shitfaced under the I-90 overpass before the game on warm red dog pounders and peppermint schnapps and got my hands on a roll of hockey tape. WRONG! Or at least half wrong. I did't tape shit. This was done by honest to God fans that I had no idea existed. Good job assholes! I'm so pumped/sympathize for/with you! Keep up the questionable work!

I've been around the Uhlenbrock a few times.

Dudes, this shit is on for fucking real. I've received more re-fucking-dick-u-fucking-lus jerseys in the first few weeks of this season than I ever dreamed could ever even exist. I'm super busy right now but you deserve to see this bullshit. So, I'm on it. Go Sabes!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Sorry dudes.

But not that sorry. I've been super busy lately and haven't had time to update shit. However, I have a TON of super sick jerseys. No shit.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Finally. It Begins.

Fucking finally. It's on for real. Signaling the start of another Sabres season, I humbly submit to you the first official sick jersey of the 2008-2009 NHL season! And what a shit biscuit! I mean.... what? Presuming you are a fan, or at least enough of a fan to go to a game and to blow $150 on a jersey, you must have at least heard of Rob Ray. No? Really? Not even on the Sabres T.V. coverage? No, huh? well. How about on all of the shitty ads? The billboards? The other shitty cable access show he did with Barnaby? Seriously no? Wow. Well, he doesn't deserve this horseshit Meddaugh. So cut it out. Rob seems like a good guy. He took a hell of alot of shit to make that number cool. All you had to do to disgrace it was blow $87.75 on draft beer at Chili's, go online and make one regrettable purchase. So do the right thing an give that abortion a viking funeral on lake Erie so as not to let the whole season be infected with the douchebumps I have right now.