As all real sick jersey fans know, we have seen the #1 dad. This shit isn't like that. This is the #1 BEST dad. WAYYYYYYYYY different. This is the single greatest father to ever walk the earth. Now, I understand that if I were a father and my children bought me this jersey, I would be moved and cherish the thought behind the jersey. But who the fuck are kids to rate the excellence of anything? They are innately inexcellent. They think mac and cheese with hot dog chunks is the best meal humans can muster. Kids can barely keep themselves from eating crayons. The truth is, you only have one father. If he's cool, he's John F. Kennedy meets Zeus times Voltron awesome. How can we really trust them? But what if "best dad" bought the jersey for himself? Is there a real chance of that? Could you, in good conscience, wear a jersey that said ACCOUNTANT #1? To be sure, it's just shitty to brag. Even if you believe it is true. But BEST ACCOUNTANT #1? Wow. That is a leap. BEST DAD #1. So, out of every dude on the planet, this dude is the best dude who has had children................ever. Congrats best dad. You are sick as shit.
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